Why we are at fault (Redefining Marriage)

In my last blog I wrote: “The culture war on marriage started when Christians abandoned God’s Holy purpose for marriage, and started to divorce and remarry at will. By abandoning His Holy standard for marriage and doing what we feel is right has opened the floodgates of its destruction in our nation.”

When we consider marriage biblically we are confronted with why we are to blame. We also see why in Malachi God say’s He hates divorce. To do this we need to view the reason God ordained marriage in the first place.

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him.” Gen 2:18-19

Why was it not good for man to be alone? I believe that the reason it was not good, goes back to the fact that man was created in the image of God, or rather in His likeness. God by nature is relational! He is a triune God. Meaning that He is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit three persons in one God together, perfect in unity and relationship.

So man was created with the need for lasting relationship. Marriage between a man and a woman is the answer to that need. God created woman for man to make His creation perfect. God’s intent was for them to remain together in unity and relationship and by doing so reveal to their children the nature of God. Sin ruined this as we all know.

So getting back to what I was saying divorce is the dissolving of relationship; and therefore opposite of the standard that God had set forth in His word. It also is contrary to the very nature of God. He has dwelt, and will dwell in perfect unity forever.

God allowed divorce, but He did so because of the hardness of His people’s heart. This is also why the floodgates have been open and we are reaping the whirlwind. By divorcing for any reason we can come up with we are disregarding the Standard God set forth in marriage.

It’s not just divorce though. It’s also the fact that we can stay married and refuse to be in relationship, or let go of our selfishness. Emotional detachment, abusive speech, and actions are just as wrong. Stubbornness, pride, pornography, and explicit romance novels are all part of the issue! You can be legally married and divorced emotionally.

I realize that divorce is a complicated issue in lives. I also realize that some are divorced due to adultery, abuse, and abandonment. I know this. If that is you believe me when I say I am grieved over these issues. However, doesn’t it all start because someone disregarded God’s standard for marriage? The issue is we act out of our desires rejecting God’s standard.


2 responses to “Why we are at fault (Redefining Marriage)

  1. Hi Dan. I appreciate your point of view and you have many good observations. They are, however, limited in scope. The attacks on marriage began in the Garden of Eden. Adam and his wife sinned, changing the marriage relationship immediately. Their roles changed, and they were no longer in complete unity. Before sin, the name Eve does not appear. Genesis 5:1-2 says,”This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.” (Genesis 5:1, 2 KJV). Before sin, the man and woman had one name, and that name was Adam. When sin destroyed their unity it became necessary to rename the woman. She was named Eve.

    Within a few short generations Lamech took two wives. Clearly, the attack on the order of marriage was already underway. Even a cursory reading of the Old Testament reveals how varied and often the order of marriage was attacked. It happened through multiple wives, homosexuality, adultery, fornication, etc.

    The attacks on marriage have consistently happened throughout the ages. They are all attacks on Jesus Christ and the church. God has identified Himself and His relationship to His church through the image of marriage. Jesus is the bridegroom, the “last Adam”, and the church is the bride. Just as Adam was put into a deep sleep, his side opened, and his bride taken out, so was Jesus put into death (5 times referred to as sleeping in the N.T.), and His side opened. Water and blood came forth, which represented water baptism (water) and communion (blood and body). Jesus’ bride was formed from His side.

    Your are correct in your assertion that the church has been compromising with the world in regards to marriage for quite some time. Any compromise will lead to further compromises and, ultimately, to sin. We are reaping the whirlwind, but the cause is not simply divorce. It is a lack of recognition by the body of Christ of the holiness of marriage. We do not understand or treat it as the covenant relationship it is. We do not strive for the unity of the Spirit in our marriages. We are therefore divided in the home, and thereby weaken the church and society. Marriage is the foundation of both church and society, no matter what most people think.

    I disagree that all in the church are at fault. Like Daniel, the whole church must identify with the sins of the church as a whole, but many have been fighting this fight for a long time. It currently appears we are losing the war, but God’s word will prevail in the long run.

    I apologize for the length of this comment, but I have much to say on this topic. If you would like to discuss this more, please email me. Have a blessed day! Tom

    • Hey Tom thanks for your comment! I’ve not finished the series yet so I’ll be expanding upon marriage more as we go on. Though the intent is not necessarily to do a teaching upon marriage.
      The actual use of the image of marriage to convey God’s relationship to His people started in the Old testament actually, Christ and His bride is a deeper revelation of the theme (If you will).
      As Far as the Church is concerned we are at fault. It’s not just divorce but the way we all have loosely handled the Marriage Covenant. The way we treat our spouses and children play a huge role.
      I agree that the abandonment of God’s Holy Standard is at the root of the problem we are now facing, and say that several times.
      Your point about Daniel is spot on I even think Ezra is another example. However the fight against this redefinition of Marriage we are loosing not because we are not fighting hard, but because we are not repenting hard! God’s word will emerge victorious upon this issue when the people called by His name humble themselves turn from their wicked ways and pray.

      Thanks again

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